I have been neglecting my blog of late. I feel as though I have nothing of interest left to say. It seems the public (mostly social media) only enjoy the negative or depressing posts and I am actually proud to say I haven’t been depressed, angry, or negative enough to write such posts for those people to enjoy.
However for the genuine people that have repeatedly asked me for an “update” or encouraged me to get back to my blog here I am and here is an update.
The truth is almost 2 years after the death of my favorite sister although I am still very much in pain everyday, I have also learned to live with that pain while carrying on living a decent if not happy existence. Somewhere along the grieving I realised my sister would hate to see me living miserably, she would hate to be the cause of my depression, she would laugh at my tears and tell me to “fix up” and so that is exactly what I did.
I stopped moping, I got fit by exercising regularly, I started eating healthy and as a bonus I ditched my medication (4 Months, 1 week and 3 days ago). As I got fitter and healthier I grew happier. I started to do more things that I felt honoured my sisters memory and began reliving our motto of “living life to the fullest with no regrets”.
I have also been carrying on her legacy via activities that she would normally engage in for example for the second year in a row I attended Notting Hill Carnival in her name and felt her with me the whole time. I went with our sisters and this year even her best friend felt compelled to join us because she also felt Cerise had led her to it (but that’s another story for another time).
There are still days where I cry and yearn desperately for my sister because of course I am still healing and naturally the pain that comes with those tears are apart of that.
However I am stronger and more resilient for my grief; and more importantly I am still here.