I love me enough to treat myself well.
The beginning of this week I had to remind myself a few things to help me from spiralling down that ever familiar black hole of depression.
* Forgiveness does not mean letting someone back into your life, or returning to the pain and hurt
Some one stated that I was acting like I had not forgiven them and that I was in fact holding a grudge against them for something(s) that had happened in the past.
I tried to calmly explain that this was not in fact true and that I had long forgiven them and everyone involved in the past situation as it was the only way I knew I was going to be able to move on with my life free from the pain that was holding me back.
This person wishes to be welcomed back into my life but I am uncomfortable with that and although the pain of the past is gone I will never forget what happened and have chosen to learn from my mistakes and love myself enough to not put myself through certain situations all over again.
Although this person is hurt and angry by my actions, I have to think about my health and well-being first and my family. Those are my main priorities. Everyone else is further down the line.
* I am no longer a victim of bullying
The same person is trying to bully me into making certain decisions by name calling and condescending me. When this person still meant a great deal to me I would have been really affected by some of the hateful words they are currently slinging but I had to remind myself I am not a victim of bullying any more nor will I be again. I make my own decisions, choices and mistakes I will not be pressurised or bullied into doing what someone else says just because they have threatened me with a nasty, negative attitude and rude behaviour.
* I am a strong woman
A few people have reminded me recently that although I have been through so much I am still here and I have a great deal of strength. At times I don’t want to believe it but reminding myself constantly keeps me strong.
I have been through a lot, I am still here, and I wont let certain people have the pleasure or satisfaction of “breaking me”, “draining me” or “wearing me down”.
*I am a role model
I reminded myself that so many friends and family look up to me as a role model and to keep such a status I have to continue to live up to it. I love inspiring other people and the way I do this is mainly “practising what I preach”. Sometimes when I am lost I have to remind myself “What would I advise others” and take my own advice, even when sometimes it seems difficult.
I am also a role model for my children and have to show them what a good mum and person I am and continue to strive to be by protecting them the only way I know how and making decisions that I think is best at any given time.
I am strong, I am powerful and uniquely me and no one can take that away from me; I wont let them.