I have wanted to write a post about this for so long, but its a difficult subject that causes many a controversy and to be honest I have so much to say about this I didn’t know where or how to start let alone how to present it.
So I’m going to put it in a letter.
This is a post about my love for single parent families. Dedicated to some of my friends and any other single parent household out there doing a good job.
Dear single parent household(s),
I don’t know what happened, I don’t know your story of how you ended up in your situation nor do I need to know.
What I need you to know is; you are simply amazing.
Raising children is hard work, deciding to become a parent should never be taken lightly, so much responsibility comes with mothering and/or fathering a child.
Children are time consuming, they’re expensive and rely on us (the parent/guardian/elder) for guidance in their upbringing.
I admire you, I would go as far as to say I admire you more so then a “complete” household with two parents.
I’ve seen children grow up in households with two parents where there was little or no love, I’ve seen parents stay together for the “sake of the kids” initially thinking its a good idea but ultimately destroying their children’s lives. I’ve known children who have grown up in a two parent family filled with all types of abuse and seen how tragic the children end up because of this.
I’ve known children from single parent households grow up to be strong, independent, leaders. I’ve seen these children grow up to want to be just like their single parent because they had shown such courage and strength in bringing them up.
I’m not saying one household is better than the other, or that it is always as straight forward as mentioned above.
The same problems that arise in a single parent family can also happen in a family with two parents. I’m just saying I feel society should give praise where praise is due.
As a single parent you go through so much raising your children alone, the worst I think being emotional stress.
Trying to explain to your child:
• Why their mum/daddy didn’t want to stay with them
• Why they must go to court to get money from mum/daddy
• Why they never see their mum/dad
•Why mummy and daddy don’t get along and how none of it is the child’s fault.
• Work to look after your child and juggle childcare if you can afford it.
• Be both parents at the same time
• Have one night off to yourself or just five minutes before the routine of work, household chores, tending to your child’s needs etc start on any given day.
Being a parent changes oneself, being a single parent can often cripple you.
I hate to see “broken” families. I hate that so many children come into this world as “mistakes”. I hate people change their minds and want to shirk their responsibilities or worse act irrationally by forcing a situation that won’t work and unfortunately then effects the children and possibly their own lives too.
There are those single parents that like to use their kids as a weapon, manipulate their separated other halves and the system. These single parents are often referred to as ” baby mama’s” and “baby daddy’s”.
They don’t try to better themselves or their lives. They set bad examples for their children and everything they do is about how and what benefits them not their kids. I’m not ashamed to say that those sort of parents I do not appreciate.
I look up to single parents doing a good job, the best they can, getting on with the situation without complaining or taking it out on the child/children.
I love how strong real single parents are. I love what and how they are teaching their children about being strong. I love how single parents never give in or give up and I want you to know that your children will love you for this too.
I have friends who have made the hard decision to end a relationship with their children’s biological mother/father due to various serious reasons and each of them did this with their child in mind first.
I’ve watched as they have struggled by themselves to keep a brave face for their child while the parent felt exhausted and emotional on the inside. I’ve watched them face many challenges but ultimately push past the stereotype, stares and judgement to blossom in themselves, move on and move forward with their life and their children.
I’m proud of you single parents and you should be proud of yourselves too.
Although this is for single parents I want to say I’m also proud of the families with genuine love who continue to stay together and raise their families the old fashion way, with a loving supportive partnership.
This includes stepparents who join a single parent household, I admire them too. Not only bringing new light and love to the single parent but taking on the responsibility that was abandoned, forgotten about or left once the previous relationship broke down.
Love and relationship’s are precious. Entering into a relationship, marriage, deciding to have children all life long decisions that I personally don’t think should be taken lightly.
Single parent households, keep your head up high and keep putting your children first.
You are doing a great job and fantastic role models for your children and other single parent households.
I applaud you, and even though its hard and may not always get easier its definitely always worth it. When you look at your son/daughter can smile and say your proud the way they turned out…thats all because of you.
Love the daughter of a single parent family xx