Ama excitedly asked 2 days ago when will she be seeing Shaun’s mum as its Easter break. My heart dropped.
I know she had been asking her daddy but because I hadn’t officially heard it from her I was fine with keeping my restrictions, sticking to my principles, keeping them apart for the time being.
However hearing the joy, excitement and expectation in her voice melted my heart.
I told Shaun it was time to let her see her nan.
Although it hurt me to make the decision because I do not fully trust his mother anymore, I had to put my feelings aside and think about what was best for my daughter.
I can’t stand when people let children down, it absolutely angers me when people disappoint my child, so I go out of my way not to do it to my daughter.
I knew how upset she would be if she heard and saw what my true reaction would have been to her question had I not held my tongue and opinions to myself until she left the room.
So with a few rules and instructions dictated to my husband I reluctantly told him to invite the woman round.
I told him she could see our daughter as long as:
• She visits in our home: I can’t trust what goes on in her house or the guests that may be invited to her home.
• She bring no gifts for our daughter or soon to be newborn son, as after a heated email recently she requested back everything she had ever given me as a gift.
• Conversation about her side of the family especially certain new arrivals are not to be mentioned or discussed at all.
• My pregnancy is not to be discussed.
• Most importantly stick to the time slot we have given as I do not want to accidentally and awkwardly have to bump into her on my way out or in my home, as I am making sure I am not home the hours she will be visiting.
I can only hope that by giving Ama (my daughter) this she will be satisfied enough until her birthday in June when I think I will have to make more decisions that will be hard as this one.
I already know I don’t what my husband’s mother having any kind of relationship with my son, I don’t trust her or like her enough to let down my guard about that decision at all. I feel I have seen all sides of her now and as her dark side outweighs the good I once saw in her I know protecting my son from her is the right thing to do while contact between her and my daughter remains distant and restricted.
I have to hold onto some selfish mentality because that small piece in turn maintains my sanity. Her involvement and busy body ways causes me the kind of stress that triggers my manic depression. Once my depression is triggered I can’t function as a good mother, wife, sibling, friend, business woman; I can’t function much at all. Which is why I know although making my daughter happy is extremely important so is my health.