Here is my letter to myself for Day 20;
This challenge so far has opened up your eyes to a few things.
One that firstly comes to mind is letting certain things in your life go that you continually was beating yourself up over because you felt that the first punishment wasn’t enough.
This challenge has helped you realise you are worthy of good friends and family that treat you right and that letting go of the people who once appeared as friends although hard was necessary.
This year so far has been quite blessed, so many wonderful and exciting things have been happening and doing this challenge has helped embrace all those wonderful things more as you began to look deeper inside yourself and love yourself more for all the mistakes you have made and flaws that you have.
You realised that forgiving others has always come easy to you but forgiving yourself was more of a challenge. You have truly embraced the healing process and begun to forgive yourself for the past and it is making you shine even brighter and helping with the dark depressing days you once had too many of.
You have learned that you care for other people more than you care for yourself. You brag about being vain but really its a show so that you did not have to look any deeper. Deep down was a girl that felt she didn’t deserve friends because that’s what her enemies had filled her mind with, deep down you were drowning because you were letting “frenemies” hold you under the shallow water so long you lost your will to fight somewhere along the line.
However doing this challenge made you realise, made you open up your eyes to who you are, what you deserve and how bright your future could and will be as long as you continue to remember that loving yourself wholly, deeply, and honestly has to come first every day.
You don’t have to give up caring for others, but it is time to tip the scales be a little more selfish and put yourself first more because you deserve it.
You also learned that you need to take more time to de-stress before you erupt like a volcano. Although you can diffuse minor situations or dilemmas you may have in your head, you have a problem with the bigger issues and tend to become so frustrated with yourself you just erupt and cause more damage to yourself or your loved ones than necessary. You need to find a better outlet.
You also realised that you do not treat yourself enough. So worried about future plans and things that may never happen you often feel bad treating yourself and often miss out on things you really want or places you want to go. Although funny enough yet again you would rather treat someone else without a second thought rather than treat yourself. You need to use that same compassion you have for others on yourself more.
There is so much you have learnt on this challenge and journey so far the change is apparent both mentally and physically.
The great thing about the challenge is being able to keep these letters to look back on to refer to so that you should not lose your way or forget what you have learned.
They say “you learn something new everyday” this challenge has literally enforced that.
Keep up the good work. Keep loving yourself.
Love the one and only,
Carley Esprit-Philip xxxxx
Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else,
you are the one that gets burned ~Buddha~