Whether you comment below, email me or Facebook me (Facebook friends) etc I would genuinely like some feedback and help on the subject below.
As most of you know last year was filled with drama and toxicity for me due to two of the most toxic and aggressive people I have ever had the misfortune of knowing.
For those of you who don’t know a quick recap;
I had a friendship & loose relationship with Ice-queen. Ice-queen went on to have a relationship with whom we refer to as Baby Daddy (the father of her newborn son and step-children) someone I had known for 9 years up until Ice-queen changed him into someone and something so evil, revengeful and spiteful I no longer recognised him.
Mine and Ice-queen’s relationship was a roller-coaster one at minimum and a volatile one at the most. When I had finally had enough of both our friendship and relationship and decided to walk away she decided to try her best to ruin my life and everything associated with it.
She turned Baby Daddy my “friend” of 9 years against me, convinced him that I was in fact the toxic one, convinced him I had seduced her mind, body and soul, and if that wasn’t enough convinced him to verbal abuse and attack me regularly and then threaten to harm me and my child (whom he had known since birth). She is so good at what she does she even took pride in twisting his mind against his family and making him estranged from them due to his behaviour and protectiveness over her for the best part of last year. Although now most of his family has accepted him and her back into their lives because of the new life they have created.
The best part was her reporting my previous blog and article to the police because it (boo hoo) upset her. When I was finally “tracked down” by the police after she and him convinced a family member to give up my details, (me and the constable had a good laugh about that one) she was satisfied thinking I would have got in big trouble by the authorities and we never heard from her again.
Believe it or not after all this I moved on, even took down the article and everything toxic related because I was done with her, him and that whole toxicity. However the thing about women and people like her they never go away. They need the spotlight constantly to feed them like you and I need oxygen.
However to bring us back to present day and my new dilemma as the toxic Ice-queen and her Baby Daddy returns; they have decided (only 3 months after the whole drama “ended”) to get engaged to be married as their son is soon to be making an appearance.
They were engaged/ announced this news on the very day of me and my husbands 10 year anniversary can you say “Happy Anniversary Carlita”, I prefer to say “how distasteful”. I am all for wishing them well and for wishing them the best but really? Coincidence? I think not.
If this wasn’t creepy enough even though once upon a time when we were friends she swore she would not take the family name what do y’all think she has decided to do now?
Yes now 7 months later after the whole sage, I have been informed she has submitted and decided to show her true envious colours and double barrel her name as did I when I married my husband and now our families would be tied together forever in holy matrimony.
I am happy that last year is behind me. I am happy that despite everything my ex-friend of 9 years got everything he wanted. A ready-made family, a housewife and baby mama, a few blood relatives lost along the way and a son to be born of the worthy Ice- queen soon to be his wife. I know it sounds sarcastic but seriously this is what he wanted and I have stopped judging that as we can’t choose or help the people we love.
However I don’t want their kind of lifestyle or the drama from the past linked with my present or future life. I don’t want my family being associated with their family. I have taken strict measures to make sure that they are not associated with that kind of life. In my (admittedly) selfishness I have restricted my daughter from contact with any member of that family, and made it clear my newborn son is not to be known by anyone of that family.
I was cast aside, disrespected and threatened all in protection of Ice-queen and Baby Daddy. As Baby daddy is the “baby” of the family so needed protection and Ice-queen is a master manipulator and liar everyone believed her stories over my facts.
Now the point of this article is I don’t want to share my family name with a family as toxic as Ice-queen and Baby Daddy. Since moving away from that part of my life I have been happier and so have my family. As most of you know we are expecting our own new addition to the family and I don’t want him burdened with a name associated with so much toxicity, drama and dread.
I want my double barrel removed and changed back to my maiden name. I want both my children and my husband to now go by either my families name or a different one completely, whichever so long as we are not tied to such a “shame”. I can’t hold my head proud with my husband’s name any more after the drama it was hard as it is. I wanted to change it back then but he convinced me not to.
I wanted to change it back then because I didn’t want my child/children to know that if something ever went wrong my husband’s family would not listen but cast them out in favour of lies and deceit instead of listen and stick by them like a family should.
My husband hates the fact that Ice-queen will always be tied to us through the newborn child she will soon give birth to and the name she is soon to take also, but he loves the fact our children have his name and that I his wife of 4 years tomorrow (4th February 2014) bares his name, and even more so that it ties us four together.
Makes me wonder for every anniversary will I get a new surprise? September which marks 11 years of my husband and I being in love what will they next announce, I’m sure Ice-Queen has many more tricks up her sleeve.
I understand what my husband is saying but do you understand what I am saying?
As above please feel free to email me, comment, Facebook (Facebook friends) etc and let me know your feedback.