Last night my husband and I were discussing our daughter’s behaviour and attitude.
I love my daughter, I really do and I want the best for her so I try my very best not to spoil her unconditionally and under my rules and supervision I have placed very strict rules and a strict attitude with her. I never lay a hand on her, but I do carry out punishments at home such as ‘naughty corner’ or take away things such as TV privileges when she is naughty.
When she tries to give me or others attitude I address the problem head on whether that is in public or at home, I don’t try to humiliate her but try to teach her that respect for me as her mother and others is extremely important.
I have a “mummy tone” and a “mummy look” and when I am doing one of these she instantly knows to start behaving accordingly and that whatever she is doing to deserve the look or tone, means she is doing something wrong or that I disapprove of.
Children need discipline. I hate disciplining her but I know from past experience from my own mother that discipline is what kept me for the most part on the straight and arrow. My mum taught me morals, how to conduct my self, politeness, respect and so on. I was annoyed as I reached puberty but looking back I am glad she raised me the way she did.
The thing is; what I hate the most (and I hope some mums can relate to me here) I hate being the “bad cop” I feel like I am forever the bad cop and my husband is the “good cop”, “knight in shining armour” “GOD”. My husband is everything to my daughter and I love this as much as I hate it. Her new thing now is telling him everything I have said or done that she does not approve of like “mummy told me off earlier when we were at ***** house”. He tries his best to back me up when he knows she is behaving bad and he does dish out discipline where and when he can but mostly its all fun and games for them both.
I watch them and they are always laughing, playing, “ganging up on mummy” and a lot of the time I am jealous. She calls on him every 5 minutes of the day “daddy I need you”, “daddy we haven’t played for 10 minutes, come and play with me” “daddy I want a snack”. Her constant demands could drive me up the wall but they are not aimed at me only at daddy unless my daughter and I are home alone. I admire his patience with her. I admit I don’t always remain cool when I should and being as smart as she is maybe she has picked up on this and that is why she prefers to “bother” daddy?
If I want her to do something she may ‘think about it’ whereas if her daddy asks her she will jump and run so fast she leaves scorch marks on the floor!
Daddy is the fun parent. In his eyes our little girl can do no wrong and mummy is just to strict. Mummy is the drag. I call her name to play or do something fun she jumps out of her skin as if I’m going to go old skool on her ass and beat her with the belt (which I have never done) only to relax when she sees I have toys or arts and crafts out.
We do have fun. We play dolls, make paintings, poems and stories together. We love the same Disney movies. Yet even though we have so much fun and I feel the love when we spend time together I still feel like second best to daddy and the least fun parent.
I never thought I would turn into one of those mothers that brags “I carried you for 9-10 months, blah, blah, blah” but that’s how I am starting to feel.
- No man will ever compare to her daddy and for that reason I am hoping when she eventually grows up to find a man she will choose wisely. If she models him on her dad she will turn out like me; the luckiest woman alive, treated like a queen on a daily basis.
- Babysitters constantly praise me about how well she has turned out so far. How polite she is, how well behaved she is and what a joy she is to have around.
- School have commented how intellectual, focused and helpful she is.
- Friends are impressed at how well she is turning out and they are always entertained with her personality.
Am I that bad of a mum really?