Family Worries…

My husband fell ill 6 months ago.

I will not go into detail of his symptoms, I merely want to explain the stress and emotion we went through waiting to hear his results.

I will admit on first learning of his symptoms I felt it couldn’t be anything serious.

My husband, me and our daughter on our wedding day.

My husband, me and our daughter on our wedding day.

However as the days grew into weeks and the weeks grew into months I grew a little more concerned and urged him to see a GP.

Men! He was not enthusiastic about it but being the nagging wife I can be, he eventually booked an appointment.

He was sent for blood tests and was asked for various “samples” in order to rule out serious diagnosis.

The tests came back clear and he was sent home with vitamins.

However his symptoms progressed and he had to make a follow up appointment. This time he was sent to a hospital to have yet another blood test and was asked for another of his ***** samples.

We anxiously waited for over a week for the results. I urged him to call the result line because I felt the wait shouldn’t be so long. He had been sick 5 months by then and my worries had not mellowed down. He rung and the hospital had some confusion and couldn’t not give him a clear answer. They advised he check with the GP as the results should have been sent there. He phoned the GP but they confirmed that nothing had been received. So he phoned the hospital again and relayed this. Once they had realised their mistake they arranged to have the results sent again.

Eventually a few days later he followed up his results again with the hospital and GP, but again they came back clear to our disbelief.

His symptoms were not improving so the GP booked him in for 2 hospital procedures known as an endoscopy and a gastroscopy.

Before confirming the hospital appointment he was asked to have yet another blood test.

The test came back clear as per the others and the procedure was then officially booked as they couldn’t diagnose him from his previous tests and samples.

The longer the symptoms persisted without a clear diagnosis we worried so much. The doctor had mentioned the big ‘C’ word and from then on I was so afraid I would loose my husband and then my sanity.

We had found out a month after he got ill that we were expecting our second child and as much as we were excited, I was worried that his illness was overshadowing our happy news.

I feared the worse as much as my husband remained calm.

We spoke of what our options might be regarding the baby if in fact he was extremely ill. We went through theoretical plans of what we would do with our first child and what would become of our family if his illness grew worse.

We even talked life insurance. It was a worrying time and I was trying so hard to hold it all together and carry on as normal.

Then as my pregnancy progressed I grew ill and physically incapable of multitasking like I could pre-pregnancy. My dear husband went into ‘doctor’ mode and took care of me and our daughter, doing everything he could to make me feel comfortable. Although I was grateful, and showed him appreciation when and where I could, I worried further.

I wanted to take care of him but could barely take care of myself most days with all the pain I was in from my pregnancy girdle pain, my morning sickness and nausea.

My hero. Although he was growing weak he carried on smiling and attending to my and our daughters’ every need.

Finally today he went into hospital. I wanted to be by his side by the doctors would not permit this. So I

had to wait at home with all the stress of my previous worries, with new worries about the procedure risks.

I picked him up from hospital. He had been sedated so needed and escort home. He look rough. I wanted to run and hug him so hard but I wasn’t sure how he felt and didn’t not want to stress him in anyway. Instead I asked him how he was feeling. He whispered ‘not good’.

We rode the cab home in mostly silence.

Although his diagnosis is moderate and he will have to go back to the hospital for a follow up, we are relieved it is not CANCER. We are so glad that we finally know what his illness it and that he can be treated accordingly. Once his treatment begins we can relax further and again enjoy being parents expecting our second baby.

Were determined to make 2014 a good year, I’m so happy we can now count on his health being good this year 🙂 Thank you universe.

Love. Peace.Positivity.

~Lady Blaze~